January Blog
New Year, New Normal, New You
As I’m sitting here tonight by our beautiful Christmas tree, I’m thinking ahead to the New Year. And I’m contemplating a new year, a new normal, and a new me.
We all have New Year’s resolutions, but the truth is that when you lose a spouse, you’re thrown into a situation where you ask yourself, “Who am I now?” You’re really forced to consider, “What will my new normal be like?” All of a sudden, the person with whom you have been one is gone, and it feels like you’re half a person. But the reality is, you’re not. But that half of you that’s been ripped away, that part of you needs to heal up. And as that heals up, you begin to develop new habits in your life, and eventually those new habits move into the season of a new normal. And as you move into that new normal, you realize that you’re becoming a new person.
So, what does that, what does that look like? Well, at first, it’s just about things you gotta do. Your spouse isn’t there to do the things that they used to do. And so, somebody has to do them. You have to pick up the slack and do it yourself. You learn to do new things. You ask others to help you, and maybe you downsize your life a little bit to accommodate what one person can accomplish, or you hire someone to do the things your spouse used to do. All those things eventually move into the habits of a new normal.
When we move into a new normal, we’re not leaving our spouse behind. We’re not forgetting about the past. But in Isaiah 42, the Lord does say, “I have a new thing for you. Can you see it?” And in Isaiah 43 He says, “the new thing will spring forth.” In Jeremiah 29:11 He says, “Behold the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. To give you a future and a hope.”
What’s behind us is the past. The present is gone like that. But we do have a future, and who we become is who we will take into that future.
So how do we decide what kind of person we’re going to be? Who’s this new person for the new normal, the new year?
We can choose whether we are going to be stuck in patterns of the past. Whether we will be mired in our mourning, or whether we will move ahead—again, not leaving our loved one behind us—but move forward with a future that God has for us.
We do that by keeping our eyes on Jesus, by holding His hand, by saying, “God, I don’t know how to do this. You promised You would be my husband. Please help me now.”
And the amazing thing is, not only does He help, but He teaches us then how to do new things we never dreamed we would know how to do. And before long, the new normal leads to a new life and a new person in Christ.
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