June Blog
Father’s Day is Coming
Welcome to The Widows Project. I'm Mary Beth and I'm Linda and we are the Co directors of The Widows Project.
Mary Beth: We're here today to talk to you about preparing for holidays, since Father's Day is just around the corner. Holidays, in general, can be challenging, but Linda, I think your family has been really good at handling holidays and planning ahead.
Linda: We like to get together. We like to get together and eat and just talk, maybe go for a walk. For us, it's just important to be with each other.
Mary Beth: Yes, I agree. And planning ahead is important, as well, because if you don't plan ahead for a holiday, you can get a grief ambush and get sabotaged by grief. And we only get to practice holidays once a year. They're not daily. So it's good to remember holidays from the past and prepare for holidays in the future
Linda: Father's Day is not like Christmas. We do a lot of getting ready for Christmas, but Father’s Day is different.
Mary Beth: Yes. It is different in that we're not only considering our own grief and loss, but the father of our children is no longer here. So we are experiencing our own loss, plus we're watching our children deal with their own loss.
So what are some of the ways that you have prepared for Father's Day and celebrated Father’s Day?
Linda: Well usually it starts with, “What are you doing on Father's Day? What time can you come over?”
Decide who you want to spend the day with. It doesn't have to be family, if you don't have family locally. You can spend your time with someone else who you like to spend time with, preferably someone who did know your husband so that you can reminisce.
Mary Beth: Absolutely. And please remember to say their name and to talk about them. Our family’s first Father's Day was challenging because Bob passed away the Thursday before Father's Day. I thought I wasn't even going to go to church that day because I knew I couldn't bear to be in the church where we had attended every week without him on Father's Day.
Providentially, a friend of ours, Pastor Mark Ost, was speaking at another church that day. At 11:30 the night before, the Lord put me on his heart, so he texted me and asked if I would consider coming to Park Ridge Community Church where was going to preach. So my sister, my two kids, and I went there.
Pastor Mark and and Pastor Brad Sebranke, the pastor at Park Ridge, just really took care of us, embraced us, and helped us through that first Father’s Day. Then afterward, we got together with the rest of our family and were able to reminisce about Bob.
Bob was a brilliant musician and an intellect. He was also hilarious! So we talked about some quirky, funny Bob Woll stories. That was really delightful, but the important thing was just to be together.
So, as you are thinking about Father's Day coming up and you have recently lost the father in your family, please do plan ahead. Please get together with someone. Remember them from Father's Days in the past.
But also recognize that you are a human. You will have feelings, no matter how much you plan and no matter with whom you get together. Those feelings are going to come up and it's OK!
Remember that Jesus came to first of all preach the Good News to the poor, but secondly to bind up the broken hearted. He's not going to come to do something that can't be accomplished! He will accomplish His mission of binding up our broken hearts–if we bring them to Him.
So, may I say, “Happy Father's Day” and God bless you! We love you!
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Go to the Fred Meyer website and your account, and then search for “Community Rewards”.
Please choose The Widows Project.
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